Vaginas

Original Song Title: Goodies
Original Artist:

Ciara - Goodies lyrics

Original photo by al7n6awi

[Ciara]
My vagina, my vagina, my vagina
You can’t have my vagina!

[Verse 1: Petey Pablo]
I have acquired a reputation for pleasing the ladies sexually
Remarkably, I only require a few seconds or more
To achieve an orgasm on both parts
Then I call the Valet service to fetch my vehicle so I can leave immediately
I will not be returning
So you may park other cars in my spot since I will be leaving
I’m the real deal
I don’t have to prove myself to anyone
Because they have witnessed me in action
I get past any obstacles that obstruct my goals
I’m used to this
Talk badly about me as much as you’d like, it will get you nowhere
You still won’t have an attractive female companion in a luxurious hotel suite
Positioned on her back eating fruit delivered by room service while we have intercourse
(I love you, sweetheart)
Ah, yes, Petey – you frisky man, I love you, too
Mwahaha
You know how I am…

[Hook: Ciara]
You may view me and conclude that I am
Merely a naive maiden
However, I am not merely a naive maiden
Sweetie the following is what I search for in a suitor:
Attractive, successful,
Willing to spoil me with gifts purchased with his hard earned money
I don’t believe I’m asking for too much, these are simply the grounds for sexual penetration

[Chorus: Ciara]
I bet you desire my vagina
Bet you fantasized about my vagina
Caused you to become sexually aroused
Frustrated because instead of having intercourse I just continue to babble
If you were wanting my vagina
I feel very badly for you
Because it is inside of a jar
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh

[Verse 2: Ciara]
Simply because you drive a Mercedes Benz
Does not make me want to have sex with you
You will receive no sexual favors from me, nor my vagina
I’m not an idiot
If you aren’t
Attractive and successful
I am not interested, just to be clear and upfront
I don’t believe I’m asking for too much, these are simply the grounds for sexual penetration
You may be skilled in the art of speech craft
Trying to seduce me
However, I’m not impressed
I don’t believe I’m asking for too much, these are simply the grounds for sexual penetration

[Chorus]

[Verse 3: Petey Pablo]
You are so very attractive, but so young
You are like a breastfeeding infant
So calm down, child
You are not as great as you think
Hey darling
You believe you are a hot shot but you aren’t
I can show you how a hot shot really is
A hot shot is one who is able to eliminate their competition
I have been trying to become a hot shot since I was pushed out of my mother’s birth canal
And though I haven’t yet become one, I am getting closer
In fact
Allow me to tell you one more time just because
All I have to do to lure a woman into my bed chamber is tell her my title (Petey!)
There’s not a single lady here that I can’t have sex with
Bada boom bada bam ba bam!

[Verse 4: Ciara]
You’re insinuating that I’m sexually aroused
On the contrary, my vagina is not aroused
You are simply one of several suitors who are attempting to have sex with me
I do not want your phone number
I’m not changing my mind
Please just leave me alone

[Chorus (2X)]

Uh…Yeah…Uh…Yeah Uh Uh Uh

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One Response to “Vaginas”

  1. Avatar of crackerize

    crackerize says:

    August 14th, 2012 at 4:17 am

    Honestly, I can’t get the mental image of a vagina just chillin’ inside of a jar out of my head. 

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