I am the Most Amazing Person in Canada

Original Song Title: Dreams Money Can Buy
Original Artist:

Drake - Dreams Money Can Buy

Original photo by eastscene

[Hook]
Do not attempt to disrupt my life

[Verse 1]
I have the funds for a fancy auto
And for a fresh start in life
I want to be as wealthy as the Saudis
I want to afford artwork
I want women to weep
And tell me their deepest secrets
Tell me they cannot stand to be parted
From me
Lately I am unkind to women
I tell them I love them
But I never really mean it
I take them on dates
In my fancy Maybach auto
In neighborhoods where no one has seen one
This creates a theft risk
But it helps me to sweet talk women
This is the truth
Besides, the car is very comfortable
I have a manual drive Ferrari
That I don’t drive
I’m too busy to drive a stick shift
I’m too dang busy
And too busy making love
To an African-American woman
Woman are already warmed up for me
Before I arrive
Just like pre-heated ovens
I am enjoying these times
Things are just improving
My newest girlfriend is from my hometown
She has trouble with her parents
She has trouble with the law
I would like to take her to Paris
Away from all these issues
Luckily I am the most amazing person in Canada
So the border will probably wave us through
I can buy any life I can dream about
Everyone was surprised at my success but me
I was just waiting for it to arrive
If you don’t think it’s deserved
I will yell expletives at you

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
I buy her food from India
Fancy designer shoes
We talked about music for hours
But she never mentioned any of your names
I adore it when my competition thinks they are fabulous
Even though they are not
I love it that perhaps they are now doubting themselves
I quote the phrase “Young Money Cash Money Billionaires”
These fellows make it so hard for us to be chums
I know they are envious of me
They cannot fill my shoes
The shoes remain empty
I take the shoes off in the house
To preserve the designer carpeting
I have never seen the car you claim to drive
I have seen that model but you were not inside
I used to have five favorite musical poets
Now I think those are the only musicians left
My other favorites have deteriorated in quality
Or have passed away
People try to bring our band down
But we stay up
Just like Christmas lights that stay lit
During the summer time
If the woman next to me has an enormous butt
I will probably hand her my phone number
I throw money onto stages
Where women do exotic dancing
But now that I have people coming to the house
I would like you to put pants on
I can purchase any life I dream about
Having money is as fabulous as I was told it would be
I expect the woman at my house
Is waiting for me to come there
So she can give me sexual pleasure
And if you don’t like my success
I will yell expletives in your general direction

[Hook]

------

Like this Crack? Share it with your friends on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.

Think you can crack it better? Become a member and submit your own version!

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “I am the Most Amazing Person in Canada”

  1. Avatar of crackerize

    crackerize says:

    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    “Woman are already warmed up for me
    Before I arrive
    Just like pre-heated ovens”

    OSNAP.

    Avatar of PrestonPuddlestomper

    PrestonPuddlestomper Reply:

    Wish I was this lucky with women!

  2. MaccyGee says:

    January 2nd, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    Hahaha, funny and really simply done too. Mine get too wordy, i must try and learn from this :)

    Avatar of PrestonPuddlestomper

    PrestonPuddlestomper Reply:

    Thanks!

Comments


   Comment RSS feed

You must be logged in to post a comment.

 

You need to log in to vote

Please log in if you would like to vote for this Crack. If you don't have an account yet, you can create one here.