I Live My Life at High Speed without Morals

Original Song Title: Fast Lane
Original Artist:

Eminem - Fast Lane lyrics

Original photo by Scott Kinmartin

[1st verse: Royce Da 5’9”]
I’ve got the first verse
And I’m working until I retire to an island
My life is fast and goes by without monitoring
Like a car on the autobahn would, on autopilot
Before I die, I will impress you with my poetry
I will impress you, and
My stage persona is nicer than the real me
I am a veritable ne’er do well
You have been warned
Do not conform
To indicate that you intend to comply
Please assault a member of the police force
Strip him down to his unmentionables
And hang him from the horn of a unicorn
By his delicate manly private parts
And don’t be dumb, and do not be homosexual
Flaunting your lifestyle
Do not be so flaming
as to be able to light cigarettes
With the flames coming from your posterior
And I’ve made up with people
Over some tiffs we had
So now I’m wealthy again
My rhymes are as tight as the nether regions
Of an overweight female homosexual
And I may not be as wealthy
As some of the other fellows
But I rhyme in a classic style not much appreciated
That was in vogue during the 1980s
And my blood is full of intoxicating materials
In the 1990s my life was like being
In a harsh military atmosphere
Yours was like being in the “Brady Bunch” sitcom
And you get high every day like a kite

[2nd verse: Eminem]
Look at me in my fancy luxury car
It’s a Mercedes!
And I’m blasting “Ice Ice Baby”
And I’ll go to a paradise when I die
Like is crazy and I like to roll dice
So I live it up until I’m dead like Patrick Swayze
And since I want to live life to the fullest
I’m thinking about a nice lady
Don’t stop me now before I get on a roll
(I mention Danish, that’s a roll, get it?)
And I’m going to mention the lovely lady
Because she’s famous
And I hope it doesn’t sound to forward or vulgar
But, Nicki Minaj, I want to do unmentionable things
To your naughty bits with my naughty bits
And intellectual simpletons,
You think I am a genius
But really I should be incarcerated
In a mental institution
I grew up in a metal portable home parked in a lot
In a bad neighborhood,
And was unstable even then
I haven’t lost my edge, my mind is razor-sharp
I am back to that same level of insanity
And you should capitalize “back”
For linguistic emphasis
And please note my impressive use of wordplay
And verbal elements,
I am going to excel with my diction
And stay out of the way of my rapid-fire rhymes
Or you’ll get hurt,
You need to know how serious I am
So listen up! I’m putting you on notification

[Hook: Sly]
I don’t how long I will occupy this Mortal Plain
I’m rapidly approaching all kinds of death
But I’ve got to push on
And see these things through
And who knows where chance will take me
I’m enjoying the journey
I’m going to roll onwards until I drop
Ride life’s ups and downs until I die
I’m living life in the fast lane (Pedal to the metal)
I’m living life in the fast lane (Pedal to the metal)

[3rd Verse: Royce Da 5’9”]
My whole goal is to relax and stop writing poetry
While my words run circles around everyone else
And I’m fighting alcohol addiction
And the rum attacks my internal organs
But creativity and poetry get me intoxicated
On endorphins
And I sold my soul to the Devil for my skills
And I would like noted euthanasia activist Jack Kevorkian
To know that he’s welcome
To dig up a deceased person’s human remains
And I’m tired of all of all the petty arguments between people in this job
But they cannot defeat me, my work is better
I knock them down with my superior writing and performance skills
If that doesn’t work,
A semi-automatic weapon will do the trick

[4th verse: Eminem]
Now I named myself after M&M candies,
But now I just spell the word out
And the business has been rough on me,
And refined my new persona
Woman, please assume a position
For sexual intercourse
And now people go crazy when they see me,
But I still like women
From disadvantaged socioeconomic backgrounds like my very own
And I’ll stutter for rhythmic effect,
And I can’t even visit Wal-Mart
Without hoards of adoring fans
And I came to the club tonight with my man, Royce, here
And we are impressing the heck out of everyone with our talent
Which I’ll compare to a force
which could drown women
And Woman,
I am entranced by watching you dance,
Licking your lips
It’s getting me all worked up,
And you need to give me oral sex
Or I’m going to have to force you into it
And if the establishment doesn’t put us at the top of our profession
We will force our way in there, too

[5th verse: Royce]
And then we’ll be incarcerated because we had to kill everyone in our way
Which is a violent metaphor I am using to say we forced our way to the top
And I’ve had a lot of experience as a poet,
But I wasn’t always noticed
I sometimes even had to pleasure myself
For lack of female companionship
And I’m on fire just like Michael Jackson
During that unfortunate incident
And I’m so much better than you
That I will compare my superiority
To a form of murder,
And I am going to run you over with a tractor
That’s how good my work really and truly is,
And I’m rhyming now

[6th verse: Eminem]
Woman, better get down
And assume a sexual position
Because I am the Caucasian life of the party
And so we need to have sexual relations
And tell your boyfriend
you’re very lucky to be with a rich guy like me
And no matter what you tell him,
You won’t be exaggerating
I’m that good

[Hook]

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2 Responses to “I Live My Life at High Speed without Morals”

  1. Avatar of crackerize

    crackerize says:

    November 2nd, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    Hey, gotta give the man props for confessing his thing for Miss Nicki! ;)

    Avatar of PrestonPuddlestomper

    PrestonPuddlestomper Reply:

    She is a hottie.

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