2012 has been the year of YOLO…almost!  According to Oxford University Press, YOLO was the runner up for “Word of the Year” this year, losing out to the word “gif’, which stands for graphics interchange format…um, huh!?

The term YOLO, meaning “you only live once,” was made popular by rapper Drake in his song, “The Motto,” causing the star to believe he deserves all the credit and rights to collect royalties for all who use the catchphrase.

What would Paris Hilton have to say about catchphrases like YOLO? – “That’s hot,” (we’re guessing) and indeed, catchphrases are hot these days, so hot even Donald Trump has cashed in with his own catchphrase “You’re fired!”

The Young Money rapper made quite a fuss on Christmas Eve via Instagram last year – uploading pictures of YOLO clothing from Walgreens and demanding he receive a cut of the retailers’ profits for using the almighty YOLO.  What we really want to know is…why is Drake browsing through clothing at a Walgreens on Christmas Eve!? Come on, we know you’ve got more DOLO than that!

Are you about YOLO’d out yet?  Well HOLDO on, it gets better…

Drake was so upset about the YOLO merchandise that he posted a message on his Instagram page demanding Walgreens address the matter.

“Dear Drake,

We are SOLO sorry that we SOLDO products that said YOLO.

Love,
Walgreens

P.S.
Your prescription is ready at the counter, thanks for shopping at Walgreens!”

The only problem with all this is, Drake didn’t think of YOLO first.  According to the New York Post, the expression goes back to the 1700′s.  Though the word “you” has sometimes been replaced by “we,” the meaning behind the phrase is the same.  There have also been several commercial attempts to trademark YOLO to sell t-shirts, tank tops, hats, sweatshirts, artificial sun tanning products, sportswear, and driver safety pamphlets to name a few.  Because of said facts, there are no YOLO survivors who can claim credit for the expression…oh, NOLO!

If there’s a YOLO heir out there, they’re missing out on a lifetime of free artificial sun tanning products, driver safety pamphlets, and of course, jamming to Drake’s “The Motto” which has conveniently been Crackerized if you want to learn the meaning to life…or just read what we think Drake is saying.

One thing the YOLO heir won’t inherit are sunburns thanks to sun tanning products!!

Earlier last month, notorious rapper Notorious B.I.G.’s (see, we told you he was/is notorious) autopsy report was finally made public 15 years after dying in a drive-by shooting…the kicker about this story isn’t how long it took, but that his family didn’t know about the release…oopsie!

Apparently the autopsy report was released prematurely.  The LAPD has since apologized to Notorious B.I.G.’s family for not notifying them beforehand of the release.

The LAPD had this to say about their mess-up:

“Our detectives personally spoke with the Wallace family (Friday) night, and apologized for not notifying them prior to the release… Obviously this has been a challenging case for us to solve. We hope that witnesses or other people with information will come forward and give us the clues we need to solve this case.”

B.I.G.’s family is understandably upset about the situation.  “Oops, we accidentally told the entire world very personal information about your family member’s murder annnnd…we still don’t know what the eff happened…sorry!”

Are you ready for the worst part?  This whole mishap, according to USA Today, was “due to an administrative error.”…what!?

Administrative error…you heard that right.  Make coffee, answer phones, push shiny red button that notifies Universe of extremely high profile murder – this was obviously a bad case of the Mondays.

Want more of  Biggie? You can check out his Crackerized songs!

Popular rap artist Fat Joe plead guilty in federal court for failing to pay some fat stacks in taxes.  Fat Joe, real name Joseph Cartegena, plead on two counts of tax evasion for years 2007 and 2008, but the rap star may still face jail time (bright side, he’ll gain some street cred, woot woot!)

Though Fat Joe took responsibility for 2007 and 2008, the Feds claim Cartegena hasn’t paid for years 2007-2010 (coughdon’tloanhimanymoneycough), leaving two years still not accounted for.  Since Cartegena still stiffed the Government in 2009 and 2010, Cartegena may face up to two years in the hole (Joe, you better pay if you value your own hole!).

Fat Joe’s sentencing is scheduled for April and the rapper has plans to cough up the dough he owes by then.

Want more Fat Joe goodness? Check out some of his Crackerized songs!

Most concert-goers come home with a nice photograph or autograph from their favorite band, but last week a lucky Odd Future fan got something much more memorable – an ass whooping and two seizures! We know, it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, too.

According to the 17 year-old fan Chassan Rasagi, he was pushed off stage at a concert in San Antonio by OF band member Hodgy Beats after Rasagi jumped on-stage. Apparently the crowd decided to use Rasagi as a human beach ball (you know, like the beach-balls at Nickelback concerts?) and pushed him back on-stage where, according to his police report, the entire band “beat the ever-lovin’ hell out of him.”

Rasagi has apparently suffered two seizures, lacerations on his head, scratches, and burns to his body from his groupie brawl with the California band (sounds kinky).

The entire fight has been caught on video and Rasagi is now planning to sue Odd Future.

What would a fight be without some good, old fashioned Twitter sh*t talking? According to Pitchfork.com, Rasagi has been Twit-talking:

“I’ll remember to send you a picture of the check when I get it,” Rasagi Tweeted. We’re betting he won’t be buying any Odd Future concert t-shirts with that settlement money (if he gets any).

Rasagi isn’t the only “victim” who has felt Odd Future’s wrath. Last year, female photographer Amy Harris claims she was slapped by OF member Left Brain who also reportedly knocked her camera out of her hands during the band’s performance. Harris, along with fellow photographers, were doused with water and pushed. Even electronics aren’t safe from OF – a cold, wet, and naked camera told Crackerize in a made-up interview that the band kicked it…that camera later died in a violent seizure. But really, the photographers’ equipment was kicked by band members after frontman Tyler, the Creator expressed his dissatisfaction that photographers got to be closer to the stage than fans.

After receiving threats of rape and death to both herself and her family from an unknown source, Amy Harris decided against taking legal action.

Though some bad light has been shed on the band, both the band members and some Odd Future concertgoers are claiming that Rasagi threw the first punch. The group also claims a Tweet (supposedly from Rasagi’s account) shows he acknowledges throwing the first punch:
“I give you props even tho u swung 1st those lame ass n***** suck I would of had your back. Probably would of got my ass beat too.” Rasagi re-tweeted another user’s comment.

Both parties are innocent until proven guilty, and there have been no new developments on this story.

To close, we would like to take a few moments of silence to remember one of Odd Future’s victims – a bound and gagged blow-up doll that the band beat on-stage at Leeds Festival…deflated and covered with questionable fluids, but not forgotten…R.I.P.

Rapper – Game (former G-Unit member with hit songs like Love It or Hate It and West Side Story), and Shyne, a previous Bad Boy rapper have not been playing nice.

The friendship between Game and Shyne got K.O.’d when Shyne insulted Game’s comrade Kendrick Lamar:

“It started, he came at Kendrick Lamar, that’s my little homie — plus the [good kid, m.A.A.d city] album was a good album, he said it was trash. So I had to jump out the window on him and step up for my Coast.”

“Whenever a shot is taken at Kendrick, I think that’s the pool I’ma dive in head-first, whether there is water there or not,” Game said in an interview with MTV. “Personally, I think Shyne should just back away and let the kid breathe and if not, I don’t know, we might find ourselves face-to-face or sh– that nobody really wants to see happen. Kendrick is non-confrontational, he’s not a thug, he’s not a gang banger, he’s just a dope, hip-hop lyricist, but he’s from the streets and he got a lot of ties out here and a lot of good hood n—as with him and I’m one of them.”

Game continues to dish out some big combination attacks on Shyne who’d done some lengthy jail time – suggesting that the rapper’s new raspy style may be due to sodomy:

“Doing ten years in jail, dropping soap everyday, being a little lowkey butt pirate for ten years, it can change your life. Certain things going up in ya for ten years, you come out a different guy. Feeling different, rapping different, ‘Game isn’t a Blood. Big Boy, he can’t see Shyne Po. I’m in Paris. I’m with the fairies.’ … You just can’t beat that guy.”

Butt pirates and fairies?  Jail kinda sounds like Neverland!  Just think of happy thoughts and sprinkle a little Cocaine on you.  Let’s gooooooo!

Game also has a flare for acting as he impersonated Shyne’s voice in his interview with Power 106 and feigned fear, “I’m very nervous, man, Shyne is on the Top 10 Most Wanted list, F.B.I..”

But Shyne isn’t laying down and taking these insults without shooting a few back of his own.  In a love ballad titled “Bury Judas,” Shyne expresses his love for Game in a way only rappers can:

“This little busta named Game wanna rhyme like Po, so rhyme like go/ I rhyme like I be climbin’ out that Rolls/ The nine I let it blow, put five up in ya clothes/ Headshots leave ya slumped reclining through ya door, oh.”

Roughly translated, this says “you suck, I’m better at rapping than you and am very rich.  I have a gun I’d like to shoot you with five times.” Shyne continues to diss Game by critiquing Game’s face tattoo -”I shoot the butterfly off your face/ And tell Jesus peace, smile at your wake.” Apparently Shyne thinks Game’s tattoo is so horrible he should die for it, sheesh!

Shyne’s track is supposedly a response to Game’s song “Cough Up a Lung,” which was an attack on Shyne:

The track turned out to be a response to Game’s Shyne diss, “Cough Up a Lung.”

“Let’s address that b*tch a** n*gga going at Kendrick/Say the album’s trash, n*gga you full of gas / Poke holes in you, let you fill up a New York cab / N*gga in Belize all into his feelings ’cause he did 10 years for shooting at the ceiling / Then he gave you a mil, little n*gga should have chilled / Cute curly sideburns, talkin’ ’bout he real / Check my resume, any n*gga want it, I bury ‘em / Butt f*ck this n*gga, he can’t get into America.”

Oh, Airports…first they make us take off our clothes, then they probe us, and sometimes if they’re feeling frisky (insert laughter here) they fondle us in front of everyone – but butt f*cking!?  Do we at least get dinner first?

To be fair, Game did have one nice thing to say about Shyne – “He used to rhyme pretty good…Maybe like ’99 or 2000. That’s when he had the voice that he stole from Big, made his own.” Wait a minute, now that we think about it that sounds rather sarcastic.

 

Rapper and actor Ice-T is feeling a little icy towards wife Coco for some pics of her and another rapper getting a little too close.

During a weekend in Vegas (sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas) pictures leaked on the Internet via Media Takeout, of Coco and Oakland rapper Ap.9 kissing one another on the cheek and embracing.  If there were some obnoxious duck faces somewhere in the pics, these would just be hilarious drunken snapshots to laugh about later, but the two look like a pair of young lovers which has left Coco’s real lover and husband fuming.

After the pictures surfaced, Ice-T poured his heart out on Twitter:  “Coco’s in Vegas. She has given me her explanation of the pics on the net from her first weeks out there [at Peepshow, where she's performing] with some dude. She said he knew someone in the crew from our show and would pop up where ever they would go. He also said he knew me. I don’t know dude….Regardless… They would take Posed pics every time. Most of them disrespectful and in bad taste. She’s made me look… And feel like sh*t…I say this on Twitter because there’s no way to avoid the obvious misconduct of a married couple. That’s it. Any more questions ask @Cocosworld.”

“Don’t get it twisted… I’m not happy about this sh*t,” Ice-T added before his Tweets were deleted.

Coco thought the pics were completely innocent and blown out of proportion, tweeting, “Woke up to people in a panic about some pics, please guys I’m happily married, sometimes fans & friends take silly pics. Its harmless. #RELAX.” But after seeing how the pics affected her Hubby, Coco apologized to her man and her fans, “Ice is right, the pics I took with this man were in poor taste & I disrespected my husband however the pics were the only thing that happened…I feel so sad, the bottom line is I love Ice & I can understand why he’s upset there’s no excuse for my actions. I’m so sorry baby & to evryone.”

If we had a nickel for every time we kissed a stranger who said they knew us, we’d have a LOT of…cold sores, probably.

Aside from these recent pictures, Ice and Coco seem to have a sound marriage.  The two appear on their popular reality TV show, Ice Loves Coco where the two appear to be one of the happiest (and most hilarious) Celebrity couples around.  Blonde, big-breasted women who wear Lucite heels and tiny bikinis make mistakes, and deserve to be forgiven, too!  Also, the two have a couple of the most plump, bouncing, adorable…dog testicles we’ve ever seen.  Ice, Coco, their dog Spartacus, and his famous giggle berries are one happy family we simply can’t part with.

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Ice and Coco seem to be cool again, with Coco recently tweeting, “Chillin with Ice on Law and Order set..we woke up too dang early..need to go back to bed but got a full day ahead.” Let’s just hope these seven (Ice, Coco, Coco’s boobies, Spartacus, and Spartacus’ nuts) stay on Law and Order and not Divorce Court.  We can’t quit you!

Rapper Rick Ross scared of death threats?  Please…no one holds Rick Ross back, not even notorious gangs.

Last week, Rick Rozay best known for songs Hold Me Back and Diced Pineapples, announced that he was canceling the last leg of his tour which was supposed to go on until December 16th.  Supposedly, Rozay’s reason for canceling was due to death threats made by Chicago gang – the Gangster Disciples.  Before Ross was scheduled to perform in the area, the Disciples posted a video threatening to kill the rapper if he made an appearance.  The GD’s accuse Rozay of cramping their leader – Larry Hoover’s style in Ross’s song “B.M.F. (Blowin’ Money Fast).” Rozay is also accused of using the gang’s gang symbol – a six-pointed star for his The Black Bar Mitzvah cover.  Oy gevalt! (that’s Yiddish for “oh goodness!)

Though Police are now looking into the threats made by the Gangster Disciples, Rick Ross says the threats were not why he canceled his Maybach Music Group tour.  In a recent interview with 99 Jamz, Rozay says he canceled his shows to teach his promoter – Shawn Gee, a lesson.

“I canceled the rest of the tour due to the promoter was really not handling his business. He canceled a date of mine. I was going to Tuscon, Arizona and I was really a few hours outside of the market when I heard. I believe it was Tuscon, this was a week and a half ago,” he said. “And I let the dude know how we move and just to communicate a little better. So I woke up and realized that two more dates had been canceled. I felt like that was some power I needed to take away from homie, so I canceled the rest of the dates.”

Is it just us, or is Rick Ross starting to seem like the rap star version of Chuck Norris?

A bulletproof vest wears Rick Rozay for protection.

Rick Rozay sleeps with a night light. Not because Rick Rozay is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Rick Rozay.

Rick Rozay can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

Shawn Gee should thank his lucky stars Rick Ross simply canceled his tours because apparently, Rozay likes to choke people who anger him… or maybe he just likes to choke people because he is Rick effing Ross.  At the BET Awards, Rozay tried to choke Young Jeezy for replying to a friendly, “What’s up?”

“This is nothing personal to me. At the BET Awards, it basically boiled down to me running across Young Jeezy, he had five security guards in front of him, five policeman behind him. When we crossed paths, I said what’s up. As soon as he said what’s up, I tried to choke him. His security guards held me up, whoever the big black dude is with the bumps on his face, he should give that dude something special for Christmas. He really should. It wasn’t a big deal to me. I went and performed, it wasn’t nothing personal.

“It’s not personal, but if I see Young Jeezy again, will I try to choke him?” he continued. “I don’t know. That’s an option. If I seen 50 Cent, is it personal? Not at all. But it’s an option. [It's personal] because there were certain lines that were already crossed.”

How does one threaten violence on another and sound so calm and collected at once?  We already told you!  He’s Rick. Effing. Ross.

Nicki Minaj is so upset with New York radio station Hot 97 that she called while overseas and requested they stop playing her music (oh snap!).

The Nicki/Hot 97 feud isn’t anything new.  During the radio station’s Summer Jam concert, one of their DJs – Peter Rosenberg, dissed the Young Money honey, calling her song Starships “bullsh*t” (come now, do you really wanna mess with someone who has multiple personalities…that SING!?).  Lil Wayne (founder of Young Money) heard Rosenberg’s on-stage insult and had Nicki pulled from the concert where she was later scheduled to perform.

Fool me once – shame on you, fool me twice – Minaj is gonna chew you out over the phone (we sure wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that call!).  After the Summer Jam hoopla simmered down, Hot 97 Program Director – Ebro, speculated that his co-worker’s prior insult had negatively effected Nicki’s Pink Roman Reloaded: The Re-Up record sales.

“I said, ‘Rosenberg ruined Nicki Minaj’s career’ – evidence suggests based on this Re-Up release, the things (Rosenberg) said about her being pop and selling out and making that pop music came back to haunt her.  Now, she puts six rap records on this album and it didn’t sell… I get the phone call, the international number pops up, I answer the call, it’s my friend Nicki Minaj, who then starts to proclaim how I’m fake.  She used every woman’s stab she could – ‘I thought you were a man, you’re a cornball, I thought we were friends, you’re fake, everyone told me you were fake’… I said, ‘Nicki, I’m helping you.  I’m keeping you in the hip-hop conversation. This hip-hop thing’s a competition; you’re either ringing, or you’re not, and just like I said yesterday, I love you, boo and I’ll dust you off and make sure this thing is popping off again.’ And she goes, ‘Don’t ever play my music again’… Of course we are (still playing Nicki Minaj), I love Nicki Minaj.” – Did most of that make sense to you?  Us neither…

Well, Nicki Minaj obviously doesn’t love YOU!  Calling someone fake is no big deal, but a corn ball?  Now that’s pretty serious  (who are you calling a cooty queen, you liint liicker!?).

Will Nicki Minaj and Hot 97 ever make amends?  The World may never know.  What we DO know, however, is that we won’t be saying anything bad about Nicki, Barbie, Roman, Martha, or Nicki’s newest Spanish alter-ego Rrrrrosa (ay chihuahua!).

Lately it looks like Hip Hop star 50 Cent has beef with more than one person, and we’re not talking about sirloin steaks, people!  Fifty (G-Unit leader popular for hit songs like “Candy Shop” and “In Da Club”) is at odds with ex-friend and TMT Promotions partner Floyd Mayweather, as well as Rap newcomer French Montana.

Fifty’s feud with Mayweather sparks from the old “can I borrow a couple bucks?” (which we all know never gets paid back) but in this case, it was a couple million.  According to Fifty (in a recent Power 106 FM interview), he gave Mayweather $2 million to start Mayweather Promotions before Mayweather was sentenced to prison.  During Mayweather’s prison stay, Fifty checked-up on his investment only to find that there was no Mayweather Promotions! (sneaky, sneaky).  Even after Mayweather’s release, he (supposedly) went out and bought jewelry and cars instead of paying his friend back.  As if stiffing Fifty weren’t enough, Mayweather lashed out at Fifty on Twitter (it’s not official until it’s on Twitter, people).

“[Mayweather] changed his mind…as he was actually going in to jail, he asked me to help him with Mayweather Promotions,” Fif recalled. “As he actually got in and I took a look, I realized there is no Mayweather Promotions: there’s no LLC, there’s no seals, there’s no ‘incorporated’…technically, Floyd is a Golden Boy fighter [for Oscar De La Hoya's promotion firm]. He fights on every Golden Boy card, they do all the footwork…so when he says, ‘Help me with Mayweather Promotions,’ and it’s not there, I go, ‘Okay, I know what he means: he wants me to put it together for him.’ So I do TMT Promotions, I get it all the way together…he comes home, and there’s the, ‘Let’s get Floyd back in pocket’ campaign that goes on, where there’s $300,000 chains being bought and buying him the new Lambourghini…and I’m sitting there going, ‘When are you going to give me the money?’…It’s about [$2 million owed] at that point. When he finally does bring up the actual situation, he acted like he didn’t know anything. Like, ‘I didn’t tell y’all to do that.’”

But Mayweather isn’t the only one sharing words with Fifty via Twitter.  After Rapper French Montana dissed Fifty in an interview with Complex.com by discussing his serial feuds with people, Fifty shot back on Twitter:

“French Montana you ain’t Sh!t boy. You out your league talking about me you hoe.i read your little interview what the f*ck is you high.,” Fifty tweeted on October 10th.
“French your Sh!t so weak you never had a song by your self fool. Ain’t nobody’s waiting to hear your verse. Girl”

And so the battle…BEGINS!

50 Cent, smeared with charcoal war paint, stares down his opponent from across the battle field, steam rising from his skin up into the cold, grey sky.  Fifty shouts up at the Gods, a startling battle-cry.  Lightening crashes suddenly and French Montana appears out of nowhere, swinging his nun-chucks ferociously and the two face each other, posing in their fighting stances…okay, so none of that actually happened but here’s a glimpse of the Twitter war.

French Montana :
“@50cent d*mnnn homie last year u was da mannnnn homieeeeeee wat da f*ckkk happen to uuuuuu”
“stop wearning jean shots wit your knee cap showin swagless monkeyyyyyyyy #cokeboyssss lol”
“This wat happen when u wear jean shorts wit your knee cap showing lol Dunkeykong instagr.am/p/SqhB1zycL1/”
” if u really about Dat life lets drop our album da same day and see who sell more u had your turn old man”

50 Cent:
“LMAO @FrencHMonTanA gonna find out what we already know. Puffy gonna run like a b!tch you on ya own boy.”
“EIF gonna be to busy to shoot your little punk ass videos. I got him a movie over at Lionsgate.@FrencHMonTanA your out of ya league boy. SMS”

Monkeys, donkeys, and…sun-burned knees?  Oh, my!  Fifty also claims that French Montana is the one who armed him with footage of DJ Khaled’s various residences for Fifty to use In a 2009 clip titled “A Psychic Told Me,” which disses Khaled and his family and shows his houses and even Khaled’s Mother at work sleeping (supposedly).

“But I just want to tell you what a psychic told me. I know where ya mama work at, look, sleep,” Fifty narrates as the clip plays (creepy).

Will this beef ever end?  We can’t say, but all this talk about beef is making us hungry.

  

Wiz Khalifa (hip hop star famous for his chart topping single Black and Yellow [read our Crackerized version!]) is actually a really cool guy whom we’re fans of and recently appeared on Larry King Now. During his interview, Khalifa opened his World to viewers which he says has changed now that he and fiancee Amber Rose (a successful and well-known model) are expecting a son in early 2013.

Khalifa educates Larry King on hip hop (and tries to HipHoperize Larry by suggesting he smoke marijuana and get a few tats), talks about his upbringing as an “Air Force brat,” and also talks about two of his loves: Mary Jane and Amber Rose.  Oh yes, Wiz is a fan of some good ol’ marijuana, “tons of it!” he says.

According to Khalifa, marijuana enhances his song writing abilities and allows him to “get things done in the right order.”  But Wiz’s love affair with Mary Jane has led him to 18 arrests for possession (hey, Wiz – Washington State just legalized marijuana if you ever want to visit us here at Crackerize).  Wiz’s other love – Amber Rose, got in touch with him through Twitter after she learned that Khalifa dubbed her his “most perfect girl in the World” in an interview and have been together since early 2011.  The two now have plans to get hitched before their son’s arrival.

Wiz’s interview is both inspirational, “if you like to do it, then you can do whatever you wanna do…you just gotta do it,” and hilarious, “yeah, people love her [Amber Rose] because of her face, and her perfectly-shaped head.” But we also learned a lot of fun little facts about the Khalifa.

So without further adieu, here are our Fun Facts About Wiz! (no, not that kind of wiz, you little sickos):
1) Wiz Khalifa started recording at the age of 13 in a studio his Father made him.
2) Wiz’s real name is Cameron – he earned the nickname Wiz for being “wise beyond his years.”
3) His song Black and Yellow is about the Pittsburgh Steelers (Wiz is from Pittsburgh).
4) Wiz Khalifa got his first tattoo at the age of 14 (something smells illegal).
5) Wiz grows his own marijuana which he calls “Khalifa Kush.”

Who’da thunk!?

From all of us here at Crackerize – Congratulations Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose on your upcoming wedding and wee bairn!  May little black and yellow Power Wheels be in your future!