Men suffering from premature ejaculation

Original Song Title: One Minute Man
Original Artist:

Ludacris - One Minute Man lyrics

Original photo by Eva Rinaldi

I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
No, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
Oh, take my hand and put it on my vagina instead because I can do a much better job of bringing myself to orgasm, do you understand?
As I’ve already told you, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation

Sir, I am going to attempt to trigger feelings of love and sexual desire by removing my clothes and gyrating in front of you
I’ll give you a blow job if that doesn’t work, and I shall do all of this this evening
Can you read minds? No, ok send me your sexual fantasies via sms
I’d suggest you take some Viagra as I plan for the two of us to have sex for an entire night, which is a very long time
Count those hours, there at least 12 of them

Have sex with me for a reasonable amount of time, show me how big your penis is
I do not want you to ejaculate prematurely x3

So returning to my plans for this evening, I intend to spend some of our lovemaking on top
You had better bring several condoms with you and remember not to forget the Viagra, yes, you heard correctly
I haven’t had sex in a few years despite talking myself up as some 3-man-a-day utter whore just then
And may I remind you that I don’t entertain men that ejaculate prematurely, and that’s not a lie
So don’t be doing that now

(Enter Ludacris)
*some noises of a sexual nature*
It’s time to wind your clock back as far as you can but you won’t get much further than 12 hours or 24 hours depending on the type of clock you own
I am suffering from psychotic delusions, I think I have the power to block out the sun and I sometimes imagine I am a handyman, but by handyman i mean a gigolo
Wash all that semen and woman juices away from your previous encounters, and I warn you I do check to make sure we are ready to start having sex
Hey all you men that ejaculate prematurely, you are all missing out and are jealous
Even though I’m a delusional sort that imagines my face is on milk cartons but without an offer of a financial reward written underneath
I have scant regard for all of you, who almost manage to have sex for a long time but ejaculate prematurely
Hard heads make bums soft…somehow but an erect penis that stays erect guarantees sex for the length of time it remains erect
I like to jump in my ejaculate after the event and there’s so much of it it splashes everywhere
When I am about to ejaculate I request that you face my penis so it goes all over your face
I think that my sperm can actually penetrate your skull and go into your brain, as I am slightly mental so you better make sure your head is all tightly locked
I have now finished giving advice, tips, and thongs
My penis is so big and I’m such an animal that I can make you see stripes by possibly knocking you out with it and giving you mild concussion
And after all that love making women eventually fall asleep and dream as my ejaculate begins to leak a little from their vaginas
And that’s because I can have sex for a very very long time
Ludacris can also have sex in a variety of positions and also perform balancing acts during sex

*Missy returns*
I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
No, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation

Have sex with me for a reasonable amount of time, show me how big your penis is
I do not want you to ejaculate prematurely x3

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5 Responses to “Men suffering from premature ejaculation”

  1. Avatar of crackerize

    crackerize says:

    November 20th, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    HAHAHAHA, okay, this entire thing was hilarious. We were laughing the entire time!

    MaccyGee Reply:

    Thanks guys, and thanks for reviewing it so quickly :)

  2. missorkney says:

    November 20th, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    hahahaha you are no sooooond Sarah!!!

  3. Avatar of johnalston

    johnalston says:

    November 21st, 2012 at 3:49 am

    LOL, I love this!

  4. Avatar of serena.dorman

    serena.dorman says:

    December 5th, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    This is hilarious :)

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